Column: Joe Morinville

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The missus and I spent the whole darned day Saturday running around town looking at all the stuff for sale in people’s driveways and garages. She brought home a bunch of stuff we didn’t need any more than the folks what was selling the stuff off. Got me to thinking about yard sales and what’s funny, common or stupid about them.

1/ I’m always puzzled when I see a stack of cassette tapes at a yard sale. Does anyone still have a cassette player that they use regularly? If they do have one they must just live for yard sales so they can get all those great hits from the years before CDs were invented. Mind you, the music was better. Better still back when eight tracks were around.

2/ Heard a woman jawing with a lady selling romance books about how she thought e-readers was dumb because you cannot take an e-reader in the tub with you. Sure you can. What you cannot do is drop an e-reader in the tub. But you can’t drop a paperback in the tub either – at least not if you want to find out if the girl in the story married that good looking fellow on the cover of the book. And why are you reading that kind of stuff in the tub?

3/ I’m convinced there were more little ceramic angels on yard sale tables in Morinville last weekend than God’s got real angels up in heaven. That and snowmen – there were lots of those too. I’m pretty sure snowmen don’t get to go to heaven no matter what religion they are, but there sure were a lot of those little knick knack ceramic things for sale.

4/ Make a note of this for next Christmas, folks. Don’t buy people little ceramic snowmen and angels. People don’t want them. They only sell them off at yard sales later on. The same goes for those kitchen gadgets you see advertised on the TV. They sell those off too.

5/ Taking all that unsold stuff over to the arena parking lot for folks to come and take for free was a good idea. Hopefully it kept all that unsold yard sale stuff out of the thrift shop’s back alley. Having all that stuff in one place gave all the real bargain hunters a chance to keep their quarters in their pockets by waiting until it was all done. Wife got a whole box of ceramic snowmen and angels for free. We’ll give you a real deal on them at our yard sale next spring if she don’t give them to folks for Christmas.

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