Column: Joe Morinville

joehead

joethumbI’m pretty excited that next week we’ll have a new Council to complain about. Twenty-eight days of door knocking, handshaking and behind kissing will be over and we’ll be able to get back to complaining about what they are doing or not doing. In the meantime, I think I’ll complain about other stuff instead.

1 Now I read where they got a drink called the Mac & Cheese shot. That’s made of macaroni, milk, Velveeta, cheese powder and rum. Another one worse than that mixes vodka, bloody Mary mix and a spoonful of cottage cheese. With these two drinks you don’t even need to get really drunk to throw up. What’s this world coming to?

2 Over in China I hear they got giant bees what killed 42 people. Things are the size of your hand. That’s not quite like them old Godzilla movies with flying monster bugs, but it sure is bigger than bees are supposed to be.

3 I know I keep going on about lawn signs, but there is a rumour out there that after the election they are going to gather them all up and build a new recreation facility out of them. Now this just isn’t true. There is no way we’d build a facility with that heavy a material. Stuff just isn’t built that good these days.

4 As a guy that likes to make fun of stuff what’s stupid, I gotta say there just hasn’t been as many stupid ideas as you’d think 21 candidates would come up with. Other than giving the cultural centre away and turning it into a swimming pool, some of these ideas people are coming up with don’t seem too bad at all. Trick’ll be if they practice what they are preaching.

5 They cut my list of five down to four last week because it was too long…

6 …this week I kept it short to get in six. Go Vote!

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