Column: Joe Morinville

joethumbLast week, I talked about how spring was coming and then on the first day of spring it snowed and it was cold and looks like it’s gonna be for a while longer. So I’m not going to talk about that because enough of youse have blamed me for the snow and cold.

1 I’ve seen two stories on the news about women what want to look like different kinds of dolls and are spending a bank vault full of money to do it. One lass has spent all her money looking like a blow up doll and not the kind what you’d give your grand daughter neither. Another gal is cracking her wallet wide open to look exactly like a Barbie doll. I think it’s kind of funny myself because at the same time there’s folks trying to get the Barbie doll people to make their dolls look like real women instead of women that could wear a cigar band for a belt.

2 Seen some nit wit went on the YouTube video thing to show himself drinking a gallon of hot sauce like that old lady says she puts on everything. Well I bet she don’t put a gallon of it on anything, let alone drinking it back like a beer on a hot afternoon, then lets it all go in a bucket like too many beers on a hot summer afternoon. People are getting more stupid. We used to do stupid stuff when I was young. Tipping over outhouses, letting cows loose, putting someone’s little foreign car on a neighbour’s lawn. But we had a small audience. I guess with a worldwide audience now, you got to do bigger and dumber stuff to get a laugh or a like from folks.

3 And you bozos on the Facebook taping your faces up with packing tape ought to just quit doing that before your face stays that way. That’s what my mother told me would happen if I made faces.

4 And you bozos on the Facebook taping your faces up with packing tape ought to just quit doing that before your face stays that way. That’s what my mother told me would happen if I made faces.

5 And you bozos on the Facebook taping your faces up with packing tape ought to just quit doing that before your face stays that way. That’s what my mother told me would happen if I made faces.

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