Column: Joe Morinville

Weather sure was good last week for the most part, which got people in a good mood and talking and gossiping like they used to. Read some interesting news on the Internet this week and heard some interesting opinions on it around town. So here’s my view on stuff what’s going on.

The more things change…

Well the NDP rolled out their royalty review on Friday and from what I can see on the news, it ain’t much different from what it was — at least not for the oil sand people. Suppose there’s a lot of oil executives what’s stopped pacing the floor when that come out. Of course, the Wildrose leader was the first to jump up and down telling anyone what would listen that he told them so. Anyhow, it looks like the NDP will have to eat a bit of crow or cow on that one.

Phony baloney vegan

Speaking of eating cow. There was a rumour going around town that a certain local music teacher and rock and roll guy what’s always going on about how he’s a vegan has got a minivan floor full of empty McDonald’s bags. Now here’s my view — that vegan nonsense is a load of tofu. I think this guy — who I ain’t gonna mention (but his name rhymes with Small Pith) — is having restaurants make him a sandwich with nothing but a pile of vegetables on it. Then he’s driving down the road and doubling down on the Big Macs where no one can see him.

But I asked him about the rumour myself, and he said them bags belonged to the musicians he drives around to gigs and that he’s strictly a wheat and potatoes man. So I’ll accept that as the truth because the bigger rumour is why a guy what plays rock and roll drives a minivan.

Seems to me like someone needs to tell this hippy that there’s lots of places you can buy a decent burger right here in Morinville.

And I ain’t even going to ask why a guy what plays rock and roll drives a minivan.

Don’t mean to be catty

Seen a video on the Internet about a Norwegian woman what thinks she is a cat but is trapped in a human body. Now this 20-year-old kitty is all kitted out with stick on cat ears, and mittens, and a tail hanging out the back of her coat. She claims she hunts mice at night, can see in the dark, talks in cat meows to her layabout friend who has split personalities, one of which is a cat. Oh, and she’s got a “superior sense of smell.”
I got a superior sense of smell, too, and I smell a load of tofu.

Email me your thoughts at joe@morinvillenews.com.