Column: Joe Morinville

Went and seen that Oblivion movie Saturday afternoon because it’s got Tom Cruise in it and I never cared for Tom Cruise but I keep given him the chance to make up for all his movies that weren’t very good. Here’s my thoughts on this one.

1 – I had to look up what Oblivion meant and it means “the condition or state of being forgotten or unknown.” Well I thought that meant Tom Cruise might become forgotten or unknown, and after this turkey I think he might be.

2 – Morgan Freeman looks pretty cool with those Coke bottle glasses he sports in the film. I like him as an actor but every time he speaks I expect him to say something about life insurance or the latest sedan from Ford. He just has that kind of voice you expect to hear in a commercial.

3 – Other than Cruise and Freeman I had no idea who the others were. Some actress name of Olga Kurylenko is in it and when I looked her up on the Google I spelled it wrong and Google gave me Olga Kurkulina instead. Boy them two ladies look nothing alike. Kurkulina is in some movie called Kick Ass 2 and she looks like she could kick it twice or maybe three or four times. I’m glad she wasn’t in this movie. She’s got to be seven feet tall and that’s three times as tall as Tom Cruise.

4 – The robot with the southern accent was cool. It’s kind of like taking a peak at what Nascar might be like in the future.

5 – I noticed more people that normal were booping on their telephones through the film. I guess they were thinking about what their friends were up to while they were watching a boring movie what made little sense. I was thinking about how many other boring movies Tom Cruise made that I didn’t care for. It got to be like counting sheep and I fell asleep for a bit. That part was nice.

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