Column – Joe Morinville

I’d like to start my column this week by thanking all of you who wished me a happy birthday on the Facebook last week. I noticed nobody run my picture in The Morinville News to recognize my 67th trip around the sun, but I guess hitting 67 is not really a milestone age. The whole thing got me thinking about age and birthdays and young whippersnappers.

1/ Why is it every time one of us old bucks says something we don’t like about the young bucks and how they do things somebody always yells “Get off my lawn.” I’ve never yelled at anyone to get off my lawn. Unless roaming cats count. And they don’t listen to advice any more than the young bucks do.

2/ Seems to me like age is only important if you are a classic car, bottle of wine or block of cheese. I’ll take the old car any day and the bottle of wine for the sister-in-law, but I never cared for old cheese, and particularly that old cheese with the blue junk all over it. It gives me the same reaction a lot of people give us old guys. That look like people are disgusted with you and you should just go away.

3/ Fellow said to me that I ought to be careful not to burn my house down with all the candles I needed to put on my birthday cake. Boy, I near fell out of my computer chair with that knee slapper. There were only two candles on my cake. One shaped like a six and one shaped like a seven. We’re fixing to use them again when I’m 76. That’s called being frugal, something most young folks don’t know too much about.

4/ But I don’t want you to think getting older is all bad. Your memory might not be as good as it used to be, but you start to get better at stuff you weren’t good at before. My knee joints are better at predicting the weather than that Mike Sobel fellow on the Global News.

5/ The editor keeps telling me I need to do some walking because it would help with the aches and pains. He says he tries to walk 4 kilometres every day. I tried it for a day or two. I’d get up in the morning early and go for a walk. Then I found a short cut so I could get home in time to watch the Rockford Files on Deja View.

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