Column – Joe Morinville

There is a lot of weird stuff on the Internet these days, but lately I’ve took to looking up Weird News on the Google. It reminds me of when you used to be able to buy The Weekly World News at Sobeys before they stopped printing them. Those people always told the truth no matter who they had to lie about to do it.

Anyways, here’s some Weird News I learned about this week.

1/ Seems some turkey from Turkey made himself a copper wire cage shaped like a motorcycle helmet that he pops on his head every day so he won’t smoke. Fellow said he tried to quit a bunch of ways but couldn’t find a way that stuck. I hope he quits smoking. It’s a dirty habit. But if he ever gets into the habit of overeating, nail biting or nose picking, he can always throw it back over his noggin again and kick those habits too.

2/ The mayor of Dorsett, Minnesota is four years old. He was three when he was elected. Apparently the way they do it down there is you pay a dollar to put your name on a ballot and the mayor draws one of the slips from the ballot box and that’s who is the mayor for the next year. Odds are pretty good. There’s only 28 of them lives in the place. But it got me thinking that it wouldn’t be the first time a politician acted like a four year old. At least this kid’s got an excuse.

3/ A young fellow in Toronto got two separate tickets for yacking on his cellphone while driving. One cop stopped him and ticketed him, and another one stopped him 14 minutes later and gave him another ticket.

4/ And speaking of guys that don’t learn their lesson, a guy from London, Ontario got charged with drunk driving. When he got caught he told the police he was on his way to court because he’d been charged with drunk driving. You can’t make stuff like that up. Nobody would believe it. But there it was in the Ontario papers.

5/ I sometimes wonder if these actors and women actors don’t have too much time on their hands. I read in the same week that Charlie Sheen took off in his own plane to Scotland to look for the Loch Ness Monster and Donna D’Errico off the Baywatch show is planning to go look for Noah’s Ark. Well, Charlie’s going to be some upset if the Baywatch gal finds Noah’s Ark and it’s got a Loch Ness Monster skeleton in it.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email