Column: Joe Morinville

joethumbI see the government has a survey on the internets what you can vote on a new licence plate for Alberta to use. I don’t know why we need a new plate but I bet with everything going on and their chances in the next election they do not want Wildrose Country on the plates anymore. Not sure what plate gets picked, but I bet more Albertans will vote for stupid licence plates than vote for the next premier. Anyway here’s my ideas.

1 I think mountains are pretty to look at and I used to not mind hiking through them a bit, but there is more to Alberta than mountains. They ought to have put some hoodoos on there like they got in Drumheller. Slogan could of been Hoodoo ? Wedoo! That’s Hoodoo. Or something clever like that.

2 Or how about the pirate ship from the West Edmonton Mall or maybe them little submarines. We had more submarines in that mall than the Canadian Navy has at sea. That’d be good on the plate.

3 I think a real winner would be to divide the province in half and give the north half an Oilers licence plate and the south half a Calgary Flames plate. Maybe not such a good idea. We got us enough road rage now without needing any more.

4 You know, with everyone getting customized licence plate numbers with clever sayings, they ought to let people design their own licence plate to put it on. That way the government could raise lots of money from all those people that want to be all special and unique. We’d have more licence plates with selfies on them than Facebook does. Be all right. Might eliminate some distracted driving because you all know you drive and look at the Facebook all the time.

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5 They say the new plates have reflective coatings so you can see the plate better. That’s important. But they also say it is so photo radar can see it better too. Well that will be real popular here in Morinville because then the photo radar guy can hide even deeper in the bushes with his camera. He’ll be able to hide so deep in the bushes he’ll think he’s camping. If’n you ask me, I wish he’d stay there and become a deep woods hermit.

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  1. Or they could put a $100 bill on the new plate to remind the other provinces of our equalization payments we send them year after year!

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