Column: Joe Morinville

There’s been quite a fuss since the Oscar people announced their nominees this year and people learned there was no black or minority actors nominated for any of the acting awards for the second year in a row. I guess they need to do some thinking about that, and I ain’t got no funny remarks about that situation. It’s just one problem I got with the Oscars.

Best picture, my foot

The Best Picture is almost always a movie I’ve never seen or have no interest in seeing, like Captain Philips and Philomena from last year. Last time I agreed with a Best Picture pick was Braveheart in 1996. The time before that was 1973 when The Godfather won. But this year it looks like they got a couple of good ones in there, like that new Mad Max film what come out last summer. It weren’t as good as the ones with Mel Gibson in them, but it was pretty good. If it wins, it’ll keep my record straight of agreeing with the Best Picture pick one’s every 20 to 25 years.

No picture like an old picture

I pretty much agreed with their picks throughout the 1970s. Real ‘70s movies like Midnight Cowboy, Patton, The French Connection, Godfather, The Sting, Godfather Part II, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Rocky, Annie Hall, and The Deer Hunter. There wasn’t a bad movie in the bunch, although Annie Hall could have been a lot better if it has some gunfights and car chases in it.

Trophy truth

The owner of this rag come to me the other day and asked me about the naked Mexican actor what stripped naked to pose for the Oscar trophy. Said he was trying to tell the story to a bunch of people, couldn’t remember it, and got looked at like he was an idiot. I was quite shocked to learn that’s the reason folks looked at him that way.
Anyway, I guess the story BARES repeating.

The Oscar statue is based on a Mexican actor named Emilio Fernández. He was in a movie no one remembers called The Soldiers of Pancho Villa in the late ‘50s.

Before that in the ‘20s, one of the Academy Award people what was designing a statue talked him into stripping naked and holding a sword to pose for the trophy.

I got no idea why it’s called an Oscar and not an Emilio, but I’m not interested enough to look it up o the Google. I only know about it because I like old westerns.


Enough with the long speeches

The Oscars will be revealed Feb. 28, and I think it would be a lot more enjoyable to watch if they just announced the winners and tossed them their trophy from the stage, particularly if it hit one of them long acceptance speech givers in the head. These long acceptance speeches are too much. You could watch the movie in the time it takes the winner to tell you how thankful they are. The actual time limit is 45 seconds, but most of them don’t know enough to shut up once the orchestra music starts playing to tell them it’s time to move on.

Enough with overcrowding the stage

Do we really need to send 28 people up on stage to accept the award for best scrolling credits at the end of a movie? Let’s face it, folks, when the names start rolling by at the end of the movie, people are tripping over popcorn boxes to get out of there. By the time the credits stop rolling up the screen, folks is already home and in bed. Now some of the movies make you sit through the darned credits to see an extra little snick of movie that might get you excited about the next one. I’m sure it’s the rolling credits union made that nonsense happen.

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