Column: Joe Morinville

The “boss” told me to keep it short this week on account of there being a lot of important news he needed to put in the paper. I reminded him my news is important because it’s the stuff people need to know about even if they already know about it.

Paying with your selfie
I was pretty sure the world had gone nuts about the time they stopped making music I could understand, but now I’m sure we’ve gone over the edge in a barrel when I seen on TV that starting this summer people will pay with their MasterCard by taking a selfie. I guess the way it works is you take a picture every time you pay and compare it to the picture of the one you took when you signed up for your card. I guess we’ve got to the point where no one can compare signatures anymore.

World needs less picture takers
Speaking of people busy taking pictures with their cell phones, the world needs less of them and more of this young fellow in Edmonton what slammed his truck into park and jumped on that guy what had that police officer in a headlock. There ain’t too much that gets me choked up on the news, but when we hear so much not too nice things about the cops, it sure is nice to see someone step in and do the right thing. Now I don’t expect everyone to risk getting hurt like the young guy in Edmonton did last week to help that officer, but it sure would be nice if the rest of the idiots used their phones to call for help instead of filming a police officer in need of help. Not sure what’s wrong with people today.

Photo with a fish – part two
Seem to have a theme with picture taking this week. Last week I told you about a bunch of idiots what killed a poor dolphin because a whole bunch of them paraded it around a beach out of the water taking photos with it. Read last week that a guy in Florida drug a little shark out of the water and onto the beach so he could take a video of it for the Facebook. I wish that shark from Jaws had come up and drug him into the water. Now that’d be a video I’d love to see on the Facebook.

Facebook’s too confusing now
Speaking of Facebook, I went on there last week and when I went to click on the little thumb’s up button they had a whole bunch of other stuff like crying faces, and one what looked like a guy was holding his breath. I think we’re going back to Egyptian and maybe even cavemen times if we can’t talk to one another except in pictures (See, I do have a theme this week).
Then they got these things now that’s got a button in the middle what says GIF. When you click on it, it’ll show you a guy falling down the steps over and over and over again, or a guy getting hit in the face with a shovel over and over and over again. They don’t have a new hieroglyphic picture on the Facebook yet for what I think of that nonsense.

RIP, Premier Getty
Premier Getty died Friday at the age of 82. I’m old enough to remember his career in politics in this province, and no matter what he accomplished as a politician, the fact his child said he couldn’t have had a better father is about the best thing any man could have said about him when he’s gone.