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Column: Joe Morinville

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joethumbSeen they pretty much packed the cultural centre twice this weekend. That’s got to be a new record. Any way you slice it, it shows things are turning around a bit over there. Maybe it’s time we left them alone a bit to do their jobs and stopped complaining so much about how much the building cost us.

1 Looking at all your pictures of watching Olympics at the cultural centre on Sunday morning, it seems to me we ought to start showing more hockey games in there and stop showing so many shows of guys blowing on trombones and prancing around in tights. If folks would get up at five in the morning in this weather to come out and watch a hockey game, I bet even more would come out if it were nicer out.

2 They’ve done real well over there this year and last with three shows. They was Beatle Maniacs, Almost Johnny Cash, and Hotel California. And that last one was a group what pretends to be the Eagles. Now that’s three shows sold out and all three of them shows was people pretending to be famous bands. Last summer the Festival people brought in the original Sweeney Todd and the original Headpins and you could of shot a canon in there and not hit no one it was so empty. So that tells me right there folks don’t want to see old bands. They want to see folks pretending to be old bands.

3 I feel like clarifying that last point. People want to see good old bands what you can’t see any more. People don’t want to see and pay money for old bands what nobody wanted to see back when they was new bands.

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4 I think that applies for new bands no one has ever heard of. See they got one coming up at the end of May called La Folia. Sounds like something I might order in an Italian restaurant with a nice red wine. But I don’t drink red wine, don’t particularly like Italian food, and got no interest in sitting and listening to a bunch of harps playing so I can do little golf claps at the end of each song what I never heard of before and never want to hear again.

5 Instead of using photo radar money to pay for the rest of the cultural centre, maybe we ought to use photo radar money to book some more tribute bands like ABBA Cadabra, Almost Hank Williams or even Mini KISS.

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