Column: Joe Morinville – Have a stupid summer

I know summer has already been here for almost three weeks if you want to get all scientific about it, but it just doesn’t feel like summer until the kids are all let out of school to wreak havoc on the town, their neighbourhoods and one another. Kids will be kids, yipping and yelling up and down the road on their bikes and boards with wheels on them. There’s a lot of stuff that’s stupid about summer and kids are not behind it.

1/ People tend to be a little heavier on the gas pedal in the summer when there is no snow and ice to slow them down or spin them around. Seen a young buck whipping up Main Street last Thursday. Watched him go by the little flashing speed sign at 86. There’s no need for that but stupidity.

2/ Kids start whipping around on their bikes and skateboards and those things that look like skateboards but only have two wheels on them. A lot of them kids are not wearing helmets, which is not a good thing to leave off your noggin when idiots are whipping up 100 Avenue at almost twice the speed they ought to be. No reason for parents to let their kids out biking without helmet other than stupidity.

3/ Vandals are out already. Editor said last week all those incredible edible bushes and plants they planted along the creek by Sunshine Lake got torn out and thrown in the drink,. Apparently it’s the second time it’s happened. And I heard from a Facebook friend that the Community Gardens over by the rink got vandalized. There’s no reason for that but stupidity.

4/ Drunks get louder in the summer because their teeth aren’t chattering to prevent them from yelling stupid stuff at 2 or 3 in the morning when folks are trying to sleep. No reason for that other than stupidity.

5/ No reason beyond stupidity to let off a bunch of fireworks in the ravine at 2 a.m. either. Not only is it stupid to wake up decent folks; it’s pretty dangerous and inconsiderate of people’s property.

6/ With an election coming this fall we’re likely going to see politicians popping up like one of those carnival games where you hit the squirrels on the head with a rubber mallet. They’ll be smiling and waving and promising swimming pools and frozen taxes. There’s no reason to believe much of it other than … well, I think you know where I’m going with that one.

Happy summer, Morinville. Be smart and be safe.

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