Column: Joe Morinville


The warmer weather has got me thinking that spring might not be far away from us and that got me thinking about how I ought to drag my barbecue out of the garage again and maybe cook myself a steak. Here’s some signs Morinville is well on its way to spring.

1 There’s a whole bunch of squishy doggy danishes on the sidewalks and on the trails because dog owners couldn’t be bothered to pick up after their mutts during the winter. If there’s one thing worse than doggy doo on the sidewalk, it is stepping in months old doggy doo that’s been frozen and unthawed in the sun.

2 The sound of trucks accelerating because the leadfooted leadheads figure they can race around town now that the snow and ice is melting and they won’t slide around into all the cars that park on both sides of the street because heaven help us if someone should use their driveway to park a car.

3 Bikes, skateboards and scooters are making a return to the middle of the street so that you cannot drive on the road. But don’t say nothing or the bird that makes an apparance won’t be the first robin of spring, it’ll be the bird some cocky eighth grader flips you for suggesting maybe he ought not to take up the whole damned road.

4 Of course not all signs of spring in Morinville are bad ones or ones to complain about. I see the Wheelbarrow Gardener’s column is in the paper. That Val Loseth’s got some smart ideas about plants and stuff and how to grow them. Too much fuss for my liking. My gardening consists of going to the Flower Stop or Vintage Petals whenever I get in trouble with the missus. There’s an agricultural term for that. It’s called a blooming idiot harvesting an apology.

5 My favourite thing about spring is hearing the birds chirping in the morning, which starts earlier because of Daylight Savngs Time. I like the chickadees and them other little birds, but them magpies and bluejays need to shut up. Them two species get fighting in the morning and it sounds like the missus and her sister geting on about something. That might have just cost me an apology harvest.

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