by Morinville News Staff

Rolling stops, speeders and distracted drivers could soon receive a ticket in the mail thanks to a fleet of six BS-642 experimental drones the Town of Morinville is looking to launch this summer.

“The BS-642 is state-of-the-art drone technology, able to pick up video footage in 6K resolution of an infraction, and then follow the vehicle at just above ground level to snap the photo of the licence plate,” said Marvin Blutowski of Blutowski Integrated Surveillance Solutions, the contractor the Town of Morinville is considering hiring to run the new technology.

Blutowski went on to say the BS-642s he is proposing to the Town will be equipped with solar capacitor receptors, and infrared technology, allowing them to store energy throughout the day in order to catch additional violations throughout the night.

“These things are state of the art,” he said. They never sleep. Cha-Ching!”

Although Morinville News was unable to get official confirmation from the Town, a source who spoke on condition of anonymity said the current lucrative programs on Cardiff Road, the Pump House, and hiding behind a tombstone at the Morinville Cemetary would continue despite the drones’ ability to hide in plain site.

“They’re looking at the drones as a way to create high-level synergies with our existing service level models in order to facilitate and enhance the existing revenue streams on a go-forward basis,” the Town source said. “It really is about safety and maximizing deficiencies in our ability to augment capacity to facilitate implementation of further safety experiences.”

But not everyone agrees that it is safety first.

Morinville resident Anne O. Fender said the drone program is not only a money grab but also a violation of her civil liberties.

“They always say ‘When pigs fly’ but now the Town wants to make their cash cow fly,” Fender said. “It’s getting to be too much. George Orwell or Mark Twain or somebody warned about this kind of Big Brother stuff in the 1700s. I can’t remember what the quote was, but I saw it on a Facebook meme a while back. Someone should start an online petition to stop this nonsense.”

If the Town is able to get a unanimous vote on a budget amendment to pay for the fleet, the intention is to launch the BS-642s on the August long weekend.

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23 COMMENTS

  1. WTF we need snipers to take out speeders….
    You know you not supposed to go full retard, there is no coming back from “full retard”

  2. Think of all the tickets we could issue for riding a bike without a helmet, littering, loitering.

    Hell we could even start fining folks who walk through their house naked with all the curtains open; or closed if you fit a thermal camera to the drone.

    Potentially the best initiative council has had come before it this year!

  3. Well way to go town council and the city administrator (DS..Schafer) and Marvin Blutkowski of ISS, what a great April Fool’s joke. Everyone must have been setting this joke up for awhile and I, for one, am glad to see that the town council, Schafer & Blutowski have a sense of humor. I am LMAO. This April Fool’s joke ranks right up there with the best in my tenure on this earth. It’s so good I am forwarding everything on to Global, CTV, and CBC news. I’m sure it will be picked up nationally. In closing, it’s so nice to see some good humor coming out of the town council and administration in these trying times where people are suffering from the current economy. Good one! Hopefully this will make the national news.
    B

    • Your sarcasm wreaks of cynicism. Perhaps give “Morinville News” credit for some lighthearted humour, and lighten up. I’m sure town council and administration and some made up character only wish they were whimsical enough to have come up with this.

  4. It’s gotta be April fools Morinville couldn’t afford drones lol .. How bout let’s save up and get s hockey rink instead of constantly focusing on speeders .. Morinville you crack me up

  5. Guess I’ll start bringing my 20 gauge when I travel through money grubbing Moronville. What is the bag-limit on drones anyway?

  6. Hahahha this, just this.

    “It’s getting to be too much. George Orwell or Mark Twain or somebody warned about this kind of Big Brother stuff in the 1700s. I can’t remember what the quote was, but I saw it on a Facebook meme a while back”

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