Column: Joe Morinville

The Christmas season is a time to stop and remember the important traditions, including fruitcake. Sit again with your children or friends regardless of their age and watch a Christmas cartoon! Here are the ones I like.

1/ Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964). Do you think Burl Ives lost weight to play the part of the snowman in this classic? Rudolph’s nose was so red. Are you sure maybe his parents didn’t give him too much gripe water when he was a Bambi? Maybe he took up drinking when he was rejected? He is lucky he could gain friendship in the land of the misfit toys.

2/ Grinch who Stole Christmas (1966). Boris Karloff is the perfect voice for the Grinch to scare the crap out of Max and Cindy. Do you wonder if the Grinch’s son lives in Morinville near the cultural centre and instead of stealing just Christmas, he wants to stop all laughter and sounds through all festivals in Morinville. This is not Whooville? Merry Christmas to you from all the rockers at the cultural centre.

3/ Frosty the Snowman (1969). Makes you wonder. If you had only one day to do all the fun things things you could, what would you do? Jimmy Durante is the perfect narrator and singer for this classic as he had a nose for what was required in this cartoon. Gene Autry’s 1950s hit made it big again 19 years later.

4/ Christmas in South Park should never have happened. Do not get me started on this cartoon because I still do not get the Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. I want to send Charlie Brown and his crew into South Park to kick their Christmas butts.

5/ A Charlie Brown Christmas(1965). How smart is that Charlie Brown guy, everyone underestimates his ability and in the end he is controlling all of them. If you do not want a Charlie Brown Christmas tree then you better buy one from the Scouts over at Home Hardware.

6/ It is not a cartoon but National Lampoon Christmas Vacation is a must the day you put up Christmas Lights.

The column is shorter this week as it is the metric column .6 of the regular 10 because the editor complains. Regardless, grab your favourite beverage and sweetie and watch some Christmas classics and ignore the War of the World, Storage Wars, Cake Wars, Cooking Fights and all that other reality bull. I am also saying “No” to the dress because I have a perfectly good polyester leisure suit with a nice wide tie. The dress would just make my muffin top show.

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