Library may be downsized to make room for Books and Booze liquor store

Satire

COVID-19 shutdowns and the rise of digital book downloads have presented a perfect opportunity for the Town of Morinville to rethink the space it allocates to the Morinville Community Library.

On the agenda for next week’s Council meeting is a Request For Decision on allocating 1500 square feet of existing library space to allow for a franchise liquor store.

“We received an expression of interest from a small American franchise company called Books and Booze that specializes in boutique shops selling only bestsellers and top brand spirits,” the Town said in a statement from Economic Development. “Council strategic priorities indicate a strong desire to achieve an 80-20 split between the residential tax base and the commercial tax base. They have also indicated a strong willingness to explore unique opportunities to diversify the types of businesses available to our residents. Administration felt Morinville lacked this type of liquor store among the many here and wanted to cut red tape by presenting the opportunity to Council as soon as possible. Additionally, the rental of the space will help us in Council’s strategic priority to balance the budget in three years.”

Books and Booze’s Manager of Community Acquisitions Margaret Aperol said the company, which operates 42 stores in New York, California, and South Dakota, said the concept is truly “the answer to the meaning of life.”

“With summer on the horizon and people wanting to make cocktails to enjoy while reading the latest bestseller on the back deck, we think the Morinville market is ready to be shaken and not stirred with what we have to offer,” Aperol said. “We’re grateful to the Town of Morinville for the opportunity to present our exciting opportunity to Council.”

But not everyone is excited about the idea.

“We’re extremely disappointed that this would be considered, but we are not surprised,” said Morinville Public Library Board Chair Jennifer Anheliger. “I will be advocating on behalf of the board to make all the other liquor stores in town serve as drop-off locations to return library books after hours.”

Should Council approve the Request for Decision, Books and Booze anticipate being open in time for Canada Day. They plan to offer those with library cards will a 5% discount on spirits and 10% on bestsellers.

Publisher’s Note: Our thanks to the Morinville Community Library and Morinville Public Library Board for being in on our April Fool’s Day story this year. As a courtesy, the Town of Morinville’s Communication Department was informed late last week that this story would run today.

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4 Comments

  1. April Fool’s — well done — altho that wasn’t my reaction when I first read it !

  2. omg!! I thought, hey, it’s April Fool’s day and I haven’t seen any April Fool’s post on FB or my email or texts. Oh well, nothing this year. But not to be denied, my email did have an hilarious April Fool’s post from Morinville News – Morinville Online “Library may be downsized to make room for Books and Booze liquor store” Apr 1, 2021 Arts & Culture, Business, Local News, Morinville News
    THAT’S HILARIOUS… EXCELLENT APRIL FOOL’S POST!!

  3. Ha! Hmm, in keeping with the day & knowing some of the town councillors & Mayor are hoping to run again in the next municipal election I will decide this is an April’s Fools bit of nonsense placed to get a rise out of all of us! Good one, even if in poor taste!

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